Always a bridesmaid: part 2

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: wedding/bridesmaid dress shopping ain’t fun for a fatty. Given that I’m a bridesmaid in about 7492 weddings over the next year, I had to go dress shopping yet again last night.

I was actually feeling pretty confident, having lost about 15 pounds since the beginning of January. I couldn’t fit any of the sample dresses, of course, but hey, not everyone is a size 2, I reasoned. After perusing all of the dresses, I selected one that I think will cover the pooch well enough (I love you, empire waists) and won’t make me look like a total whale – it’s actually a very pretty dress in a beautiful deep navy.

Then I went to pay.

Because I had to order a plus-size dress (which, the salesgirl said, amounts to about size 14 in street clothes), I had an added charge tacked onto my dress. It was almost a third the cost of the dress!

I understand the reasoning behind it. Extra fabric = extra dollas. But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing to be told that you have to pay a significantly higher price because you couldn’t stop porking out on Cheetos. Mortifying, is what it was.

I cried the whole way home.

It’s not the bridal salon’s fault. They have no control over what a dress designer charges. I could tell that they felt awful for me having to pay almost $50 more than the other bridesmaids. Fifty dollars isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things, but my chequebook has already taken a hit from all of the weddings I’ve been involved with (plus my own wedding expenditures).

My cheeks red as hell, I forked over the $50 and did what any fat girl would do to displace the embarrassment – I cracked a joke about it (while fighting back tears and praying my payment would go through).

Le sigh. I’m definitely not looking forward to wedding dress shopping now. Someone pass me a drink. Or ten.


Keep on keepin’ on

As I sit here, munching on some celery sticks, I’m having one of those “When did this become my life?” moments.

I’m wondering how I got to this point, where I have to waddle into plus-size departments, where I have to find bridesmaid dresses that magically don’t make me look like a stuffed sausage, where I have somehow garnered an extra two chins.

It didn’t happen overnight, that’s for darn sure. My weight gain was a slooooow, drawn-out process — many years of giving zero fucks about eating healthily, many years of being lazy, many years of having “ugly friend syndrome” (I’ll touch on that in a later post).

To boot, there is the lovely mentality that every fat girl has had at some point: “Well, I’m already fat, so this second piece of birthday cake won’t matter!” I want to scream at my chubster self, “THIS IS WHY YOU ARE STILL FAT!”

…I’m having an angry day today. Those happen. And they will continue to happen as I continue down this seemingly never-ending road to a healthier life. I have a lot to be thankful for (family, friends, future hubby, the Backstreet Boys’ music), so I just need to keep on keepin’ on.

End rant.

Weigh-in Wednesday

Starting weight: 255.2 lbs
Last week: 242.4 lbs
Current weight: 241.6 lbs
Weight lost this week: 0.8 lbs
Total weight lost: 13.6 lbs

I had a really, really bad weekend. Like, I gave zero fucks.

But, after getting back on track on Monday, I still managed to lose almost a pound. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

I have two much-needed vacation days next week and plan on writing at least one snarky, self-deprecating post. I miss the days of yesteryear, when I used to post more about life as a fat girl.

It’s my best friend’s wedding this weekend, so I’ll be off the grid for a few days. Peace, homies.

Squashing my buddha belly, one recipe at a time

I forgot to weigh myself this morning (I told you, I’m going senile), so I’ll be sure to post an update in the next few days.

On a completely unrelated note, I’ve discovered that I love spaghetti squash. I can see why it’s touted as a favourite weight loss food — not only is it delicious, but it is also ridiculously low in calories. I found an oh-so-yummy spaghetti squash carbonara recipe on Slender Kitchen last week and have been dreaming about it ever since. (Oh, and it was man-approved too.)

We adapted the recipe a bit, but the original recipe can be found on the Slender Kitchen website.

Spaghetti Squash Carbonara

Spaghetti squash
Cooking spray
1/3 cup chopped pancetta
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 cup skim milk
3 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1/8 tsp sea salt
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/4 cup warm water (you can also use chicken or veggie broth)
1 large egg


  1. Cook the spaghetti squash with your preferred method. (Google is your friend, yo.) Let it cool and then cut it in half and shred it.
  2. Bring a medium skillet to medium high heat and coat with cooking spray. Add the pancetta and cook for about three minutes or until just browned. Add the onion and garlic. Saute for another three to four minutes.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk together the milk, Parmesan cheese, parsley, salt and pepper.
  4. Add the spaghetti squash to the skillet. Pour the cheese and milk mixture over the squash and toss to coat everything.
  5. In a small bowl, gently whisk the egg and warm water. Gently add the egg to the skillet and stir constantly. Cook for four more minutes until the sauce thickens. Season with salt and pepper if needed.
  6. Split into two servings. Each serving is only 215 calories. HOLLA!