Always a bridesmaid: part 2

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: wedding/bridesmaid dress shopping ain’t fun for a fatty. Given that I’m a bridesmaid in about 7492 weddings over the next year, I had to go dress shopping yet again last night.

I was actually feeling pretty confident, having lost about 15 pounds since the beginning of January. I couldn’t fit any of the sample dresses, of course, but hey, not everyone is a size 2, I reasoned. After perusing all of the dresses, I selected one that I think will cover the pooch well enough (I love you, empire waists) and won’t make me look like a total whale – it’s actually a very pretty dress in a beautiful deep navy.

Then I went to pay.

Because I had to order a plus-size dress (which, the salesgirl said, amounts to about size 14 in street clothes), I had an added charge tacked onto my dress. It was almost a third the cost of the dress!

I understand the reasoning behind it. Extra fabric = extra dollas. But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing to be told that you have to pay a significantly higher price because you couldn’t stop porking out on Cheetos. Mortifying, is what it was.

I cried the whole way home.

It’s not the bridal salon’s fault. They have no control over what a dress designer charges. I could tell that they felt awful for me having to pay almost $50 more than the other bridesmaids. Fifty dollars isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things, but my chequebook has already taken a hit from all of the weddings I’ve been involved with (plus my own wedding expenditures).

My cheeks red as hell, I forked over the $50 and did what any fat girl would do to displace the embarrassment – I cracked a joke about it (while fighting back tears and praying my payment would go through).

Le sigh. I’m definitely not looking forward to wedding dress shopping now. Someone pass me a drink. Or ten.


Always a bridesmaid

I’m not getting married anytime soon, but I swear I’m missing the bride gene. I’ve never been interested in planning a wedding. Like, at all. I would happily get hitched in a courthouse or drive-thru chapel in Vegas when I get married. (Sorry, Mom.) I recognize that I’m an anomaly.


General disinterest in all things wedding aside, I’m honestly excited when I get the chance to be a part of my friends’ weddings. Over the past few years, I’ve been in two wedding parties and am in a third next summer, and two of my best friends will be engaged any day now. I’m so honoured that these amazing women have asked me to stand next to them as they marry their loves, and I’m more than happy to help them in any way I can.

There is, however, one part of being a bridesmaid that is less than fun for a curvy chick: bridesmaid-dress shopping. I know that in the grand scheme of things, my bitching about dress shopping isn’t important. I’m not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill — just trying to explain a very real challenge for plus-sized ladies.

It’s embarrassing when everyone tries on a dress and loves it — but it doesn’t come in your size. It’s defeating when everyone tries on a dress and it looks amazing on them — but less-than-ideal on you because it accentuates your armpit rolls and back fat. I speak from experience — and size 16 isn’t that far out of “regular” sizes, so I really feel for women who are larger than me and have to hear “Oh, I’m sorry, our sizes don’t go that high” more often.

Luckily, during previous bridesmaid-dress-shopping trips, I’ve discovered ways to (somewhat) hide my flab. (Strategically-placed ruching, empire waists and Spanx are my BFFs.) Also luckily for me, my friends are the furthest thing from bridezillas, so they are always very patient when trying to find dresses that look good on everyone, including me.

For the wedding next summer, I’d love to not have to worry about feeling like a stuffed sausage in my dress. My goal? To fit a size 12 bridesmaid dress and to have it fit comfortably (no sucking in allowed). I think that’s a reasonable goal for a wedding that’s still more than a year away, and I should be able to reach it, especially since I fit into size 14 pants this morning (kiss that, Jamaica weight).

Wish me luck!