The return of the dreaded fat-girl photo

In the grand scheme of all things wedding, my ever-fluctuating weight isn’t a huge factor…

…until dress shopping.

Despite being engaged for all of 10 seconds, I have already gone dress shopping, accompanying my friends who are also getting married soon. I wasn’t planning on trying anything on because a) I would rather stick fire pokers in my eyes than try on clothes, let alone intricate wedding dresses and b) I really, really, REALLY hate wearing dresses. (If it was appropriate to wear jeans and a hoodie every day, I’d be all over that like a fat kid on a Smartie.)

Much to my dismay, the sales associates at the bridal store and my friends insisted that I try on at least one dress (thanks, girls!). I finally caved, figuring that at the very least, I could get an idea of which rolls needed the most camouflaging.

I tried on a dress that actually did a decent job of holding in the flub (no easy task), and I thought it looked pretty good — until I saw a photo that my friend had taken of me in the dress.

A dreaded fat girl photo.

I’m not quite sure how it happened. (OK, I’m pretty sure it was the many, many caesars and nachos I enjoyed on various patios this summer.) But somehow, I managed to re-gain a significant amount of weight without realizing it. As I’ve said before, it’s pretty simple, really: bitch got lazy.

Seeing that photo made me want to dive straight for the Cheetos and eat my way into a trans fat oblivion. Rolls everywhere. Body parts bulging out of the dress. Triple chins. I’m already uncomfortable with the idea of having all eyes on me at my wedding. I don’t want to add to that by worrying about which seam is going to pop open first.

Not only that, but many of the dresses I actually liked weren’t available in my size, and I was left with only a few tarp-like frocks to choose from. This is one of the few times I actually cursed my bootay.

Finding a wedding dress is tough. Finding a dress for someone who hates wearing dresses is tougher. Finding a dress at this size is damn near impossible. Let’s just say my motivation to lose weight has kicked up a notch.


Back on track

I feel like I’m having a summer-long fat day.

It’s been a week and a half since I last posted, and I actually really missed blogging. It’s nice to have something/one to hold me accountable when I fall off the wagon, food-wise. And fall I did. For weeks. (In other words, bitch got lazy.)

After almost a month of eating shit (and feeling like shit as a result), I’m back on my clean-eating plan. Lemme tell y’all, I felt like total and absolute crap this month. It was actually kind of helpful in a weird, twisted way, because I could see the effects that poor eating habits have on my body (weight gain not included). I was back to taking naps several times a week. I was bloated and lethargic. I was constipated. It wasn’t pretty.

This whole blogging experiment is a success so far. Despite my having re-gained several pounds and going through several weeks-long binges, I don’t mind the ups and downs because let’s face it, that’s reality for a lot of people tryin’ to lose the chub. I know my weight will be a life-long struggle, so it’s great to have my successes (and failures) documented.

Oh, on another note, I’ve decided to change the weekly weigh-in to a monthly weigh-in instead. I’m going to start taking monthly measurements now that I’m exercising again, so I’ll include those with the weigh-in numbers. I’ve got this, guys. I know I can do this.


I suck.

I totally forgot to post my weigh-in numbers last week — come to think of it, I think I forgot to weigh myself (there’s a first). I promise I’ll post it soon! (P.S. Only four more days until I can exercise! Hallelujah!)

In the meantime, I’ve discovered my new favourite dish, courtesy of Clean Eating magazine’s summer issue. Super tasty and ridiculously easy to make — and it received the boyfriend’s stamp of approval. I’ve adapted the recipe slightly, so it’s not exactly the same as it appears in the mag, but it is still awesome.

Spicy shrimp and bell pepper toss (courtesy of Clean Eating)

1 lb uncooked shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 red onion
2 1/2 cups bell peppers, chopped (I used red, yellow and orange so it looked pretty)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp chili powder
1 Tbsp cumin
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Olive oil cooking spray
(The recipe didn’t call for it, but I added 1 cup of zucchini because I’ve been on a huge zucchini kick lately.)

1. Pre-heat oven to 425. (You can use a grill, too, but I was lazy and didn’t want to set up the BBQ.)
2. In a large bowl, combine shrimp, veggies and garlic.
3. Add lime juice and spices, then toss to coat. Set cilantro aside.
4. Here’s where the fun part comes in. Cut four 12″X16″ pieces of aluminum foil. Mist each piece with cooking spray, then divide mixture evenly into the centre of each one, forming a mound. Bring the short edges of the foil together. Fold inward a few times along each long edge to seal.
5. Place packets on a large baking sheet in the oven. Bake for about 15 minutes.
6. Allow packets to rest five minutes before serving. Transfer contents of packets to serving plates and top with cilantro.
7. Nom nom nom!

We made basmati rice as a base for the dish, and it was delish. True story.

The dreaded weekly weigh-in: week 18

Starting weight – 229.6 lbs
Last week – 218.0 lbs
This week – 215.8 lbs (down 2.2 lbs)

Total weight lost – 13.8 lbs

I’m back on track, baby! Had I not eaten some unhealthy food like homemade perogies and a McDonald’s pity meal after surgery, I think I could have lost a little more. Regardless, I’m happy that the scale is moving and that my pants are no longer cutting off my circulation because they’re so tight.

On a boring note, I had my surgery on Friday and it went well, meaning that in six weeks, I should be getting my ass kicked in boot camp once again. Oh, exercise, how I miss thee…

The dreaded weekly weigh-in: week 17

Starting weight – 229.6 lbs
Last week – 218.4 lbs
This week – 218.0 lbs

Total weight lost – 10.6 lbs

I’m slowly chuggin’ along, losing the weight I regained while oh-so-gleefully stuffing my face in Jamaica.

Bad news: I have to have surgery on my toe after all, meaning no exercise for six weeks, starting on Friday. Boo.

The good news? Once I’m healed, I’ll be rockin’ an intense exercise routine. That, coupled with my clean-eating efforts, should help me shed the pounds once and for all.

(Also, on a side note, I discovered my new favourite snack: unsweetened applesauce with a tablespoon of almond butter mixed in. You’re welcome.)

The dreaded weekly weigh-in: week 16

Starting weight – 229.6 lbs
Three weeks ago – 210.8 lbs
This week – 218.4 lbs

Total weight lost – 10.2 lbs

In a matter of three weeks, I managed to regain, like, eight pounds. Thanks, Jamaica.

Of course, I’m not trying to pass the blame. I know full well what happens when I travel — thankfully, I generally lose what I’ve dubbed the “too-many-rum-punches pounds” pretty quickly.

I hate being overweight in the summer. During the winter, it’s actually kind of beneficial — that extra layer of flab keeps me nice and toasty when the weather reaches a lovely -30 degrees. But summer is an entirely different story. I sweat like a mofo already, so carrying an extra 80-100 pounds makes me pour buckets.

You know that saying: “Sweat is just your fat crying”? Well, if that’s accurate, my fat has some serious PMS and/or emotional issues.

Miss me?

Sorry for the lack of posts, people. I’ve been working a stupid amount of hours on freelance work in addition to my full-time job, leaving me with zero energy or motivation to work on this blog. But don’t worry — I swear I’ll be back to my normal posting habits soon. You can’t get rid of me that easily. 😉

I’ve already posted a few dinner recipes and now have a ridiculously easy breakfast recipe for you. Let me preface this by saying I used to hate breakfast. I was never hungry when I woke up, leading to bad things later in the day (like 11 a.m. pig-outs on cupcakes. Seriously.).

Once I got in the habit of eating breakfast, however, it was an entirely different story. Now, I can’t function unless I have something in my belly within an hour of waking up. If I’m in a rush, I’ll grab something quick ‘n easy, like a banana and a spoonful of almond butter. If I have more time, I’ll prepare an egg-white veggie omelette or oatmeal (real oatmeal, not that packaged stuff laden with sugar), topped with ground flaxseed, cinnamon and berries. *drool*

This weekend, I tried making a clean version of french toast, which made for a pretty yummy Sunday-morning treat. I present to you…

Clean-eating french toast (cut me some slack, I couldn’t think of a more original name)

Two slices of multi-grain bread (or sprouted, whole-grain, etc.)
Four egg whites
1 Tbsp pure maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla extract
More syrup for topping
Raspberries (or berries of choice)

1) Combine egg whites, maple syrup and vanilla, then whisk.
2) Place each bread slice in the bowl to soak up the deliciousness. Ensure that each side of the bread is coated.
3) Plop the bread on a pre-heated griddle or frying pan (I used the latter) on medium heat, then cook for about four or five minutes, flipping once or twice until you see that nice toasty brown colour on each side.
4) Top with remaining maple syrup and berries.
5) Enjoy.

My boyfriend loves three things: video games, Cookie Monster metal (look it up) and raspberries. I was pretty sure he’d like this recipe, and I was right. He even said incredulously, “That was CLEAN?” I think it will be a weekend staple for us.

(Don’t think I’ve reneged on posting my weekly weigh-in, either. I’ll post that tonight or tomorrow. I may have some explaining to do…)